No strings attached

I know what i want in my life. Finally u say? Well, better late than never i say. After 21 years of being told what to do all the time, deciding how the rest of my years are going to be is not a easy task. Up to this point every move and direction i had turned was not under my jurisdiction. Simply put, mylife not equals to myway. (maybe that's the reason my blog is titled such).

So what have i decided? I have decided that i am going to live for myself. As selfish at it may sound, altruism is not actually the way of life in this millenia. So what does living for myself means? it means not shackled down by expectation and pressure to maintain the good girl image. Not that being good is a bad thing, but the expectation borders on torture at times.

I want to live for myself as in not needing to think twice before indulging on what my heart desires. I don't want to be under a persons supervision, where my every move is watched. I don't want to calculate each and every step of mine, just so that others would accept me for who i am, and not who i was forced to be.

Which brings me to the natural step that occurs in a life cycle:marriage. I don't want anything to do with that. period. I don't need another man to take over my life and run it as his own. I have enough people running my life already thankyouverymuch. So i don't want some stranger in my life or my bed expecting me to ask permission even before i fart. Most of all i don't want to have to need put paying my kids music class fees or getting my husbands much 'needed' golf club, before my own needs. Selfish? Let it be.

But of course my family is important for me. They will always get the attention they deserve. But without the responsibility of being my aviator. This plane will be on manual drive, with me in the drivers seat. Move over autopilot.

And of course you.

p/s: the now me is not that bad mind you, but improvements are always welcomed :)