1st sem end exam

Sigh...

Really don't know what to say...

Just finished 1 paper, gen chem. On Monday. It was o-kay. It wasn't bad enough to make me feel that i'll fail (fingers crossed), but not good enough to make me feel that i'll ace it either.

I hate my mentality!! It's like a disease that god knows when it started. Feels like it has reached its period of illness. According to my tortora and funke microbiology bible, a disease has 5 stages of development:

1. Incubation period: interval between initial infection and the 1^st appearance of signs/symptoms.
   
2. Prodormal period: characterised by early, mild symptoms of disease.
   
3. Period of illness: DISEASE IS MOST SEVERE!! Person exhibit overt signs and symptoms of disease. Immune response and other defense mechanism come to the rescue.
   

   At this point 2 things can happen, either the pathogen is overcome by the immune system, in which the period of illness ends, OR its not successfully overcome and the person dies. Period.
   

4. Period of decline: signs and symptoms subside. Susceptible to secondary infection.
   
5. Period of convalescence: recovery has occurred!
   

 

If you're wondering what disease I'm having, let me tell you, even if you're not wondering also I'll still tell you. It's called LAZINESS!! No seriously.

It might seem like a common disease, but boy does it hurt. It hurts not only my result but also my pride. It hurts that i'm always at the period of illness stage. Never fully dead but never fully recovered either. Even if by sheer miracle-ness i inch towards the period of decline, a secondary infection (usually its astro o internet) occurs.

I want to be at the period of convalescence! Always.

It makes me so sad to think that, ever since i started this course i have always been praying that i want to pass this successfully. Pass? Hello!! Knock knock! Since when was i happy for pass kinda person? Where is my drive? I feel so driveless!

I want my mentality to change. Asap!! I want to have this fire in me to study really hard. And get A for all my subjects. (although its a little late for this sem) i mean that's what a student supposed to do right? Study and score well. Why can't stupid, idiotically lazy me do that?

Change is inevitable.