i don't want to:(

my idea of a perfect holiday ending would be stuffing myself with good food, watching loads of TV, internet-ing incessantly and going shopping, not to pay a visit to him

i did actually do all that but i still dun want to go see him!!

i dun want!

i dun want!


somebody save me please.. no i am not being melodramatic. you would be like this also if you have to go see him. and i definitely dun want him to do what he wants to do. damn it, is there no escape. but then again, maybe i did ask for this to happen. i wanted it to be extracted from me, to stop the pain.

ridiculously, the only way to stop the pain is to inflict a worse pain. crazy or what? its like saying the only way to prove that your not stupid is to do something really stupid.

conclusion: the permanent moderate pain is replaced by a temporary extreme pain. good bargain?

i'll blog about the visit in more detail when im back from it, and if im in mood for blogging.

I AM REALLY REALLY SCARED!!!